Better Love
by VegasGirl09
Summary: Post "The CSI Effect" Finn and Nick.


The cursed hot sun beat down on her relentlessly with no viable option for escaping its brutal rays. She could feel it burning every inch of her skin, the leather backing of the car seat sticking to her in this heat. And yet the bomb squad agent was fully suited up in a giant puffy safety uniform. Compared to him in her regular work clothes she felt exposed. She could barely hear his muffled instructions as he told her how to slip the camera scope through a hole they drilled in her windshield so they could observe the wretched device she was currently seated on top of. At least she didn't have to use the bathroom; yet, she couldn't help but think of a slight fortune in this unfortunate event. Sitting still in the car was a test of her patience. She had the urge to move not just to escape the bomb but because it drove her crazy to sit still for an extended period of time.

She couldn't help but fidget in her seat, causing the bomb squad agent to eye her with discontent. When she dared to look beyond him, she saw a small command center lined with black metal barriers with thick plexi-glass windows for the other team members to see the atrocity unfold. She caught sight of Russell on the phone no doubt calling everyone to tell them what was happening.

And then a shooting pain stabbed at her heart at the sudden realization of who she really wanted right now; Nick. She thought of him getting Russell's call, knowing he was still on the case digging into clues for the Gig Harbor Killer copycat. She had not had enough time to tell him the stories surrounding the Seattle case which she had intended to do in great detail once they were home and safe after their shift tonight. If she was even alive by then she dared to think that horrible thought.

Suddenly the red lighted digital clock switched from several minutes to just one single agonizing minute. She yelled at the agent outside of her car, pointing at the clock and fearful of what the sudden change meant. She grew frantic when she saw the agent abandon her and the rest of them retreat behind the barriers. They were leaving her to die.

"I'm so sorry," she cried out to no one in particular. Perhaps a God she didn't believe in might hear her and spare her. But as a scientist she knew there was no higher power ready to swoop in and forgive her sins at the last minute. She closed her eyes, bracing for the pain, the noise and whatever else would come with death by explosive.

Everything she had every contributed in her lifetime would cease to exist in just a short moment. Cases, her belongings, her friends, Nicky and Sam, she would never see them again. As her heart pounded furiously against her chest, every emotion hitting her causing tears to well up in her eyes but not fall since it was so hot in the car, she heard a bizarre sound, a technical sound as if something was fading away quickly. When she dared to open her eyes, she noticed the clock on the bomb was blank, no more angry red digits. Before she had time to process this, her doors unlocked with a sharp click and she jumped violently. She let out the breath she had been holding in, her chest aching from doing so for so long. Had she really just survived? _How?_

The bomb squad agent who had fled only moments ago, returned, yanking open the door to her car and pulling her out with such a force she almost toppled over. He guided her away from the vehicle as other agents descended upon it to inspect and no doubt remove the bomb for further processing.

Russell was the first familiar face she saw sprinting towards her as she maneuvered on shaky legs to him. The agent passed her off to Russell who embraced her lovingly.

"You o.k?" he asked and all she could do was nod silently against him as they walked.

They had not even taken a few steps forward when she spotted Nick. In that moment all she could think about was getting to him. She abandoned Russell's side and started walking on shaky legs towards him. He moved much faster across the parking lot, having bypassed the metal barriers in his frantic search for her, reaching her at last, embracing her, taking her in his arms like he so desperately wanted to do moments ago.

The world around them disintegrated the instant they embraced. The bomb squad agent's shouts diminished, Russell's voice talking on the phone was muffled, and sirens were stifled. All she could hear was her own voice as it broke, turning into agonizing sobs of relief but still ones of fear that rippled through her. She didn't care who was watching or what they thought of her; she let herself go completely, sobbing harder into his arms, hiding her face from the scorching sun by burying it into his chest. He was holding on to her tighter than he ever had before. She continued to push herself against him, almost as if she was fighting to escape, but all she really wanted was for him to pick her up and carry her away from this place and with his strong hold on her, he seemed likely to do that.

It's o.k.," he soothed her, "it's over."

His short statement of comfort made her howl and sob harder into his chest. He regretted speaking, opting instead to keep holding her, shielding her from this nightmare. She was angrier than anything else, wanting to find out if this had anything to do with Gig Harbor Killer, hunt them down and catch them. Her sobs mingled with words she tried to mumble but couldn't speak properly without choking on more sobs which made her whimper in frustration. She _hated_ crying and looking like she had lost control but this entire day had gone from slightly annoying to downright deadly. Her legs felt weak the longer she stood there, swaying with Nick on the hot asphalt parking lot. He supported her with his arm wrapped around her waist, squeezing her side continuously, knowing that affection had comforted her in the past.

When her sobs began to dissipate into dull whimpers and she had cried out every last tear she possibly could, Nick gently began to sit her up so he could see her properly. She resisted his efforts to do so by keeping her head down and her face covered with her hands.

"Don't do that," he soothed, gently pulling her hands away from her face "you have to breathe."

He lowered her hands slowly, catching sight of her face now which was red from crying and sitting in the hot sun for so long. He brought one hand up to gently sweep her matted hair away from her eyes and felt her skin which was hot to the touch. He kept his other hand around her waist, still squeezing her side, letting her know he was never going to let her go. When she dared to look at him, she felt ashamed, embarrassed for crying so much and seeming to fall apart in front of everyone but she had just sat on a bomb! She earned the right to cry hysterically. She glanced at him trying to put into words her gratitude for his help in this terrifying moment. But she could not make words come out. He saw her clench her fists in anger at not being able to speak.

"I know," he soothed holding her face with both his hands now "you're safe now okay?"

She managed a single nod in understanding yet she still felt fearful of the car and entire situation.

"Home," she murmured shakily now to him indicating that she wanted to go there.

"Not yet sweetheart," he broke her heart with that statement "let the medics look at you and make sure you're ok."

"I'm fine," she snapped at him, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand clumsily, trying to clean up and pull herself together.

"Please?" he begged her, gently wiping away her tears, "please let them look at you, do it for me baby, please?"

He couldn't see any visible injuries on her but did not want to risk something happening later on that was somehow an effect of today's events. He knew his concern for her would make her give in and go see the paramedics who had arrived at the first call.

"Fine," she mumbled half heartedly, lowering her gaze to the hot asphalt.

He turned her and started walking with her over to the ambulance. Russell was hovering nearby; anxious to make sure his temperamental blood whisperer was o.k. As they walked, Julie could feel her legs wanting to give out from underneath her. Her face was probably sunburned from the way the sun was angling through her windshield as she sat there, immobile. She was thirsty more than anything and immediately accepted the bottled water one of the paramedics handed her. After drinking half of it, she raised the bottle to her forehead, letting the cool plastic soothe her aching skin. Sitting down in the back of the shaded ambulance was a relief she was not expecting but she welcomed it. What she disliked was everyone in the vicinity, agents, other CSI's, lawyers coming from the station across the street, ogling her and the scene with interest.

"Can I go now?" she asked, feeling frazzled by all the attention.

Both Russell and Nick eyed the paramedic for confirmation.

"Her vital signs look normal," he recited "no injuries, just a minor sunburn and heat exhaustion, she should get somewhere cool and stay hydrated."

"Thanks" Julie said, hopping out of the ambulance before anyone could stop her.

"Don't let her drive," Russell reminded Nick as he hurried after Julie.

When he caught up to her, she was walking with her arms folded across her chest feeling oddly vulnerable still. She had stopped near her car where the bomb squad agents had retrieved her bag and other belongings from her car, handing them to her after clearing each item to be device free. Once she was weighed down with her purse and other miscellaneous items from her car, she glanced around in search of a place to set them.

"Here," Nick said taking some of the items from her "my cars around the corner, we'll get you home and you can rest."

"I have work to do," she insisted "Gig Harbor-

"That can wait," Nick finished for her.

She eyed him with a look of disappointment as they walked to his car a few feet away. She hesitated as he approached the passenger side door, grabbing on to his arm tightly in fear.

"They swept it for devices, it's clean, I promise," Nick assured her.

That was all the confirmation she needed to step up into the SUV and shut the door, blasting the air conditioning as soon as Nick started the car.

Back at their house, Julie was hesitant at what to do next. She wanted to take a shower then immerse herself in her files from Seattle in the 2009 case of the Gig Harbor Killer but she also wanted to crawl under the covers and hide forever and let someone else handle this mess.

She allowed herself a combination of both desires. She showered in cooler water, savoring the icy chill as opposed to the sweltering heat she was subjected to only hours ago. Afterwards, the welcoming coolness of the bed sheets and pillows against her skin made her sigh contently, glad to be alive, _lucky_ to be alive, she couldn't help but think.

Nick gave her the space she needed to calm down and recover before quietly approaching her side of the bed.

"Doing ok?" he asked cautiously.

"Been better," she admitted "stupid Gig Harbor."

"Yeah seems like this guy has a beef with you and Russell," Nick said "I was hoping you would tell me about the case but after what just happened, you don't have to talk about it right away."

"I'm tired," she complained now "maybe tomorrow."

In addition to sitting on an explosive device, she had been working non stop since Shaw first presented the case to her two days ago. She thought about the times she worked with Shaw, the feeling she had for him years ago in Seattle, how those had fizzled when she discovered he was still married. She thought about her ex, Mike and the moment that broke their marriage. And then she thought of today; of the bomb, of Nick's presence in her life and the way she had clung to him so desperately after escaping near death. She felt that stabbing pain in her chest again and she knew what she had to do. Silently, she stretched her arms out towards him and he knew she wanted to be held so he joined her under the covers, embracing her tightly.

"I have to tell you something," she murmured.

"Anything sweetness," he assured her that any secrets or fears she had were safe with him.

"When I was in my car," she began, trembling at the memories, "I really thought it was the end, they say your life flashes before your eyes but all I could think about was everyone at the lab, Sam, and then- my heart started to hurt, I thought it was just because I was scared but the more I thought about you, about our life together, about never seeing you again, the pain got worse, I've never felt pain like that before, I was afraid to admit it to myself but it's _real_ and I have to tell you because I came so close to losing everything today but I- I love you Nicky- and I know we say it occasionally, but I really mean it, I want you to know that I really mean it, and you don't have to say it back right away if you're not ready- it's ok-but I just had to tell you now because-

She was silenced by him kissing her and not their usual quick kisses when they were in a hurry in the morning or in between shifts at work, this was slower, the kind they saved for moments like this.

"I love you too," he whispered, brushing her hair back, happy to finally be able to tell her, wanting to tell her for so long but fearful of scaring her away if he said it too soon.

She felt relief wash over her at not sounding completely ridiculous or too clingy. They had been seeing each other on and off since 2012 and living together since 2013. She had said "I love you" too soon in other relationships and they never worked out. But this, what she had with Nick, was different, it was real and she knew nothing could break them; not even a bomb.


End file.
